Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Asperger teen independence
Dear Darren,
Your frustration last night probably didn’t really have much at all to do with Asperger Syndrome. It was probably just teenage rebellion. Like every other teen, it’s time for you to be developing the skills to become independent. You’re kicking at the constraints that bind you at home. Yet in order to leave, you first have some skills to learn.
Sometimes teens with Asperger Syndrome can lack confidence about getting out into the world. Sometimes they stay home too much. A lot of the skills that are being developed in the teen years are social and emotional skills. Teens with Asperger may be behind in these areas. That can cause reluctance to go out there and face the world. The world can be confusing. Store clerks can be rude. Bosses can be unpredictable.
And yet, there really is no better way to learn about the world, than to be out in the world. My suggestion is to take small steps – but do take them.
Get in your car and do the family’s grocery shopping for the week. Or go get Asian take-out for the family dinner. Go pick up your step-brother’s package from the post office. Take in your dad’s dry cleaning for him. You don’t have to be out there doing big, important things. Just be out there doing little things for people.
It’ll build your confidence, you’ll be appreciated, and you’ll feel more like an adult. And soon you’ll be treated more like an adult.
Love,
Mom
Your frustration last night probably didn’t really have much at all to do with Asperger Syndrome. It was probably just teenage rebellion. Like every other teen, it’s time for you to be developing the skills to become independent. You’re kicking at the constraints that bind you at home. Yet in order to leave, you first have some skills to learn.
Sometimes teens with Asperger Syndrome can lack confidence about getting out into the world. Sometimes they stay home too much. A lot of the skills that are being developed in the teen years are social and emotional skills. Teens with Asperger may be behind in these areas. That can cause reluctance to go out there and face the world. The world can be confusing. Store clerks can be rude. Bosses can be unpredictable.
And yet, there really is no better way to learn about the world, than to be out in the world. My suggestion is to take small steps – but do take them.
Get in your car and do the family’s grocery shopping for the week. Or go get Asian take-out for the family dinner. Go pick up your step-brother’s package from the post office. Take in your dad’s dry cleaning for him. You don’t have to be out there doing big, important things. Just be out there doing little things for people.
It’ll build your confidence, you’ll be appreciated, and you’ll feel more like an adult. And soon you’ll be treated more like an adult.
Love,
Mom
