Tuesday, February 20, 2007
The Silent Text Messages
Darren,
I went to Mexico. When I got there, I sent text messages to both you and your sister. I spent a few minutes to think of something different to say to each of you that I thought you would enjoy. I wrote something funny to Laura, and to you I wrote something about geckos. Soon, Laura wrote back. So I wrote another a line or two. After a message or two we stopped writing, but a day or two later, we wrote a few more messages. It was fun to feel connected from Mexico.
But you never wrote back. I waited patiently for a couple days. Then I tried again by sending another message. I tried to think of something else funny or interesting to say to you, so you would be sure to respond. But I didn’t hear anything back.
I bet you didn’t realize that you actually did send a message. You sent a message twice. Two silent text messages. What did those messages say? Those messages could have said a number of things to me. They could have said things like:
“You are not important to me.”
“I don’t care about what you just said.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I am mad that you went to Mexico and you didn’t take me with you.”
“My cell phone is dead.”
“I am dead.”
OK, I’m exaggerating on that last possible message, I didn’t really worry that you might be sick, injured or dead, particularly because I know you well and know all about Asperger Syndrome. I was not surprised when you didn’t answer my messages, even though I was disappointed. But do you see how other people might get a negative message from your silence? You silence actually said something. I wasn’t sure what you were saying, but it didn’t seem positive.
Plus, we missed out on a chance to have a potentially fun conversation. I know that conversations can be hard work for you. Next time I will talk about how to make informal text messages and email conversations easier.
Love,
Mom
I went to Mexico. When I got there, I sent text messages to both you and your sister. I spent a few minutes to think of something different to say to each of you that I thought you would enjoy. I wrote something funny to Laura, and to you I wrote something about geckos. Soon, Laura wrote back. So I wrote another a line or two. After a message or two we stopped writing, but a day or two later, we wrote a few more messages. It was fun to feel connected from Mexico.
But you never wrote back. I waited patiently for a couple days. Then I tried again by sending another message. I tried to think of something else funny or interesting to say to you, so you would be sure to respond. But I didn’t hear anything back.
I bet you didn’t realize that you actually did send a message. You sent a message twice. Two silent text messages. What did those messages say? Those messages could have said a number of things to me. They could have said things like:
“You are not important to me.”
“I don’t care about what you just said.”
“I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I am mad that you went to Mexico and you didn’t take me with you.”
“My cell phone is dead.”
“I am dead.”
OK, I’m exaggerating on that last possible message, I didn’t really worry that you might be sick, injured or dead, particularly because I know you well and know all about Asperger Syndrome. I was not surprised when you didn’t answer my messages, even though I was disappointed. But do you see how other people might get a negative message from your silence? You silence actually said something. I wasn’t sure what you were saying, but it didn’t seem positive.
Plus, we missed out on a chance to have a potentially fun conversation. I know that conversations can be hard work for you. Next time I will talk about how to make informal text messages and email conversations easier.
Love,
Mom
