Friday, January 26, 2007
All fixed now! (thanks)
Dear Darren,
For the last few entries I’ve been writing about ways we could have avoided our argument about your game. But I also want to talk about how we fixed the problem after we had our argument.
It’s the magic technique called reflection. You told me how you felt. Then I reflected back what you said. Then you felt understood. The wonderful thing about this technique is it works even if we don’t agree with each other. I can reflect how you feel regardless of whether I agree with it. If you felt ignored, then I can say that you felt ignored, regardless of whether I thought I had been ignoring you.
Then to be fair, we switched and it was your turn to reflect me. It was really very nice to hear you say back to me how I had felt. I didn’t mind if you didn’t agree with it. It was just really good to be understood. I really appreciated you taking a moment to think about how I felt.
Love,
Mom
For the last few entries I’ve been writing about ways we could have avoided our argument about your game. But I also want to talk about how we fixed the problem after we had our argument.
It’s the magic technique called reflection. You told me how you felt. Then I reflected back what you said. Then you felt understood. The wonderful thing about this technique is it works even if we don’t agree with each other. I can reflect how you feel regardless of whether I agree with it. If you felt ignored, then I can say that you felt ignored, regardless of whether I thought I had been ignoring you.
Then to be fair, we switched and it was your turn to reflect me. It was really very nice to hear you say back to me how I had felt. I didn’t mind if you didn’t agree with it. It was just really good to be understood. I really appreciated you taking a moment to think about how I felt.
Love,
Mom
