Tuesday, November 14, 2006
The importance of reassurance
Dear Darren,
Yesterday I put myself in your shoes in order to realize what to say. I thought to myself, “if I was Darren and I got just a very short letter from Mom, how would I feel?” And I answered myself, “Maybe I would feel like she didn’t care about me”. So that’s how I knew to tell you that I’m just tired, but I still love you.
People with Asperger syndrome often forget how much NT people want to be reassured about emotions. I reassured you that I still loved you. You probably didn’t even need that reassurance because you have Asperger and you don’t worry about whether or not I love you. But NT people often want reassurance about emotions. They want to be told that they are loved. The only way to guess that is to put yourself in their shoes and in their minds.
Love,
Mom
Yesterday I put myself in your shoes in order to realize what to say. I thought to myself, “if I was Darren and I got just a very short letter from Mom, how would I feel?” And I answered myself, “Maybe I would feel like she didn’t care about me”. So that’s how I knew to tell you that I’m just tired, but I still love you.
People with Asperger syndrome often forget how much NT people want to be reassured about emotions. I reassured you that I still loved you. You probably didn’t even need that reassurance because you have Asperger and you don’t worry about whether or not I love you. But NT people often want reassurance about emotions. They want to be told that they are loved. The only way to guess that is to put yourself in their shoes and in their minds.
Love,
Mom
